Funny news, funny pictures, videos, quotes and weird happenings – daily updated

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BUCHAREST (Reuters) – Romanian second division soccer club UT Arad sold a player in exchange for 15 kilograms of meat, local sport daily Pro Sport reported on Monday.

However, fourth division Regal Horia made a bad deal because defender Marius Cioara decided to end his footballing career and take off to Spain to find a job in agriculture or construction.

“We are upset because we lost twice – firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team’s food for a whole week,” a Regal Horia official was quoted as saying by the daily in its electronic edition.
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From Yahoo News

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker (1893 – 1967)

I feel generous today… here’s one to make the girls feel good

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”

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The direct mail company that prepared meth addiction brochures says a “typo” was the problem.

Calling the 800 phone number on the brochure was supposed to link callers with a help line operated by the Tennessee Association of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Services. Instead, the number printed on 200,000 direct mail pieces sent callers to a recorded message where a second 800 number was given.

When the second number was dialed, callers found themselves on a phone sex line and were told “hot girls” were waiting to talk” to them.

Wally Kirby is executive director of the Tennessee District Attorneys General Conference, which paid for the direct-mail program. Kirby calls it an “unfortunate mistake.”

Alan Brandon of Brandon and Associates Direct Mail in Smyrna says his company hated that it happened. The correct phone number for meth help is 800-889-9789.
Earlier, an insurance company publicized a number to help TennCare enrollees that directed callers to another sex line.
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copyright AP

from WBIR

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.

1st blonde: “What have you got in that bag?”

2nd blonde: “Chickens.”

1st blonde: “If I can guess how many chickens you’ve got in that bag, can I have one of them?”

2nd blonde: “If you can guess how many chickens I’ve got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!”

1st blonde: “Well, I think you’ve got three.”

A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.
He then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”
Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
“I want the house,” he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.
He says, “I want the car, too,” but she just drives faster and faster.
By now she’s up to ninety mph. “All right,” he says, “I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too.”
The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, “Isn’t there anything you want?”
The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”
“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”
Right before they slam into the wall at a 100 mph, the wife smiles and says, “The airbag.”

Here’s a funny comparison between Italy and Europe

Ever wondered how Coca-Cola is transported ? I found the answer:

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FRISCO, Colorado (AP) ? Snow that some residents described as dark as chocolate brown was reported across parts of Colorado Thursday, a result of a wind storm in northern Arizona that kicked up dust that fell with the snow overnight, officials said.

“It’s pretty much statewide,” said Ethan Greene, director of the Colorado Avalanche Information Center. “We’ve had reports from the San Juans, Winter Park … all over.”

Greene said it’s not unusual to see plumes of reddish dust from the desert Southwest drop on the Rocky Mountains in the spring.
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From USAToday