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Hey, when this man says “no trespassing”, he means “no trespassing”

Do NOT click HERE. It WILL crash your computer. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Okay, this is the best blonde joke I have ever read. I found it here

What happens at certain temperatures:

+18 C People from Hawaii put on the second blanket
+10 C People from Helsinki turn off their heating system
+2 C Italian cars don’t start
0 C Distilled water freezes
-1 C Expiration becomes visible. Russians eat icecream and drink cold beer
-4 C Your dog jumps in the bed with you
-10 C French cars don’t start
-12 C Politicians begin to talk about homeless persons
-15 C American cars don’t start
-20 C You can hear the breathing
-24 C Japanese cars don’t start
-28 C Your dogs jumps in your pijama
-29 C German cars don’t start
-30 C All normal cars don’t start
-36 C Russian cars don’t start
-39 C Russians button up their shirts
-50 C The car jumps in your bed
-60 C People from Helsinki freeze. Russians button up their coats.
-72 C Lawyers put their hands into their own pockets
-120 C Alcohool freezes. Russians get mad
-273 C Absolute zero. All the particles stop moving. The Russian licks frozen vodka.

A man gets into an elevator. A few floors up, a women gets in. After a couple of floors, the woman stops the elevator, gives him a look, takes her blouse off, rips her bra and throws it on the floor.

- Come on, make me feel like a woman!

The man thinks for a few moments, takes his shirt off, throws it on the floor and says:

- Come on, wash it and dry it.

“There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”

Cyril Connolly

”
Novi Sad - A Serbian funeral director is facing legal action after organising the burial of a man who was still alive.

The mistake was noticed only as the coffin was being lowered into the ground, prompting angry scenes from grieving relatives.

The family from Novi Sad in Serbia had been told that the head of their family, Bogoljub Topalovic, 84, had died in hospital. But the body of another man who had died at the same hospital was in the coffin.

Mourners realised a mistake had been made when Bogoljub rang his daughter on her cellphone during the funeral service to ask why no one had been to visit him for a few days.

Bonus-hunting medical staff tipped off funeral staff about deaths. A nurse scribbled the wrong name as she rushed to tell the undertaker - and claim a bonus. - ananova.com
”

This article was originally published on page 1 of Cape Times on February 14, 2006

Does she love me ?