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Archive for the 'Funny Quotes' Category

Britney Spears Quotes

“I always listen to ‘NSYNC’s Tearin’ Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra.”
“Marry Prince William? I’d love that. Who wouldn’t want to be a princess?”
“I like to poo.”
“I’m rich, freakin’ rich. It’s crazy.”
“I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt.”
“I always call my cousin because we’re so close. We’re [...]

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in [...]

Stupidity

?Stupidity is the devil. Look in the eye of a chicken and you’ll know. It’s the most horrifying, cannibalistic, and nightmarish creature in this world.?
-Werner Herzog

Terrible person

“Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it?s not true. I have the heart of a young boy – in a jar on my desk” – Stephen King

George Bush Quotes

George Bush Quotes:
Chew before you swallow.
On TV, about his passing out eating a pretzel
History is moving, and it will tend toward hope, or tend toward tragedy.
I think we agree, the past is over.
On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000
Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our [...]

We are the president

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
- Hillary Clinton, 2000

Money

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker (1893 – 1967)

What will the neighbors say…

“There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”
Cyril Connolly

Cockroaches and socialites

“Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.”
Herb Caen

A happy marriage

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield