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Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
The reason I fired my secretary
2 weeks ago I turned 35.
When I got up in the morning I wasn’t feeling very well, but I was hoping that my wife will sing Happy Birthday to me and probably give me a present. She didn’t even say “hello” though. The kids took breakfast without even noticing me.
I got to work depressed. When [...]
The station
The station
A train station is the place where the train stops.
A bus station is the place where the bus stops.
A subway station is the place where the subway stops.
On my work desk I have a workstation.
Need I say more ?
Strange Coincidences
Strange coincidences:
Year 1981:
- Prince Charles gets married
- Liverpool wins the European Cup
- The Pope dies
Year 2005:
- Prince Charles gets married
- Liverpool wins the European Cup
- The Pope dies
Conclusion: If Prince Charles decides to marry again and Liverpool gets in the European Cup finals, someone better announce The Pope…
Be strong
Some guy escapes from prison.
He enters a house and finds this couple in bed.
He asks the guy to stand up and he ties him to a chair, then, while tying the woman to the bed, he approaches her, kisses her on the neck, then stands up and goes to the bathroom.
The man says to the [...]
Kindergarten test
Some kindergarten kids were asked:
To which direction is the bus heading?
Do you know the answer ?
There are only 2 possible answers : left and right.
Think. You still don’t know the answer?
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OK. I will tell you. The kindergarten kids have answered “left”.
When asked why, they said:
- Because you can’t see the doors.
Feeling kinda stupid right now, [...]
Yo Mama Jokes
As if there aren’t enough of them around…still funny though
Here we go:
- Yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
- Yo mama’s so stupid that she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
- Yo mama’s so stupid she tripped on a cordless phone.
- Yo mama’s so fat that when [...]
Blondes
A blonde driving a convertible passes near a corn field. She sees in the corn field another blonde in a boat, paddling. She quickly stops the car and furiously shouts:
- You idiot, blondes like you are the reason why people make fun of us. I’d come over there and teach you a lesson, but you’re [...]
Why do women have 2 hands ?
Why do women have 2 hands ?
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And men ?
If Women Ruled The World
If women ruled the world…
Google April Fools Jokes 2006
Google had some surprises for us this year on april fools day :)First, if you search for “area 51″ in Google Earth and go a little to the West, you’ll find that there ARE aliens there. Here’s the proof :
To see it for yourself, if you have Google Earth installed, download and run this file: [...]