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Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
Year 2006
You now live in 2006 when….
1. You accidentally type your password to the microwave.
2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards for years.
3. You have a list of 15 telephone numbers for the 3 members of your family
4. You send an e-mail to your office colleague
5. The reason why you don’t keep in touch with [...]
In the immigration office - joke
In the immigration office:
- Name? - Abdul Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex? - Four times a week.
- No, no, no… male or female? - Male, female… sometimes camel.
Little girl and wabbits
An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbiths?”
The shopkeeper’s heart melts and he gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks:
“Do you want a widdle white wabby or a [...]
Gone hunting
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take [...]
Blondes guessing game
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: “What have you got in that bag?”
2nd blonde: “Chickens.”
1st blonde: “If I can guess how many chickens you’ve got in that bag, can I have one of them?”
2nd blonde: “If you can guess how many chickens I’ve got in this bag, [...]
Choosing the time to divorce - joke
A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.
He then says, “I don’t want you to [...]
The best blonde joke ever
Okay, this is the best blonde joke I have ever read. I found it here
What happens at different temperatures
What happens at certain temperatures:
+18 C People from Hawaii put on the second blanket
+10 C People from Helsinki turn off their heating system
+2 C Italian cars don’t start
0 C Distilled water freezes
-1 C Expiration becomes visible. Russians eat icecream and drink cold beer
-4 C Your dog jumps in the bed with you
-10 C French cars [...]
Woman in the elevator
A man gets into an elevator. A few floors up, a women gets in. After a couple of floors, the woman stops the elevator, gives him a look, takes her blouse off, rips her bra and throws it on the floor.
- Come on, make me feel like a woman!
The man thinks for a few moments, [...]
Jesus
A drunk man is sitting on the sidewalk next to a bar. A stranger sees him and asks him if he needs help walking home. The drunk man answers:
- Hey! Do you know who I am ?
- No I don’t. Who are you ?
- I’m Jesus Christ, and I can proove it. Come with me.
They [...]