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Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
Expensive parrots
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says:
“The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars”.
“Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks.
The owner says, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”
The customer asks about the [...]
Bin Laden In Heaven
Bin Laden dies and reaches the Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter opens the gate, sees him and says: YOU? You want to enter HEAVEN?
To which Bin Laden replies bored: Did I say I want to enter? You all have 2 minutes to exit!
Explaining condom use
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”.
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh I see.”, replied the boy pensively.
“Yes, I’ve heard of that in [...]
Chinese immigrants
A Chinese family (Chu, Bu, Fu and Su) recently immigrated in the USA. To integrate better in the society, they have changed their names accordingly: Chu in Chuck, Bu in Buck. The Fu and Su sisters decided to return to China.
Bill Clinton’s problem
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “The President Must Die” written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off.
He storms into his security staff’s headquaters and yells, “Somebody wrote a death [...]
Survivor, Texas-Style
Network TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of “Survivor,” the popular TV show.
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: “I voted for Kerry, I’m gay, and [...]