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European Union Language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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10 Responses to “European Union Language”

  1. PCku Says:

    Tare! 🙂

  2. Joe The Artist Says:

    Thank you for your kind words about my art. I always experiment with making it my own and not a reflection of those under whom I study. – I loved your entry here … it shows the provincial nature in us all.

  3. Kurt_zeh_butler Says:


  4. Daniel Says:

    O my God, I hadn’t laugh that much for a long time. You’re good, thank you

  5. damian Wood Says:

    i suppose it is kinda funny but ive seen better

  6. hc Says:

    are you a linguist? This cracks me up! Thanks!

  7. Lacey Says:

    Lol, but Germans like ‘sch’ (shhh) and other stuff. That sounds more like a french style, by the sounds of it; as well that comidiens sound sort of like that when making fun of the French.

  8. JEAT Says:

    Nice try!
    Isn’t the last sentence easy to understand!
    I am of German extraction and confident that this “Euro-English”, if ever, will have the same sort as … Esperanto!

  9. ggkk Says:

    i usually never laugh for anythig….BUT…..this really made me laugh!!!thank you very much!!!!!!!!!:)))))

  10. Lady Liberty Says:

    ekselent !
    I lafed so hard 🙂
    tank u veri mu(ch?)

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