A series of funny condoms commercial. And when you say condoms, many of the best commercials are made by Durex.
Another funny e-mail circulating around…. I wonder who invents this stuff. Some look genuine though.
Sixty Amazing-but-True Facts!
o In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.
o The increased electricity used by modern appliances is causing a shift in the Earth’s magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
o The idea for “tribbles” in “Star Trek” came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.
o Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.
o Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.
o Smearing a small amount of dog *** on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
o The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren’t for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
o The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
o The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there’s no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.
o Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say “gesundheit” to a sneezer was never repealed.
o Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don’t do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.
o SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.
o Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.
o Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender’s system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.
o Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.
o The first McDonald’s restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.
o The Air Force’s F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.
o You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.
o Silly Putty was “discovered” as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It’s not widely publicized for obvious reasons.
o Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.
o The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the *** of a cadaver.
o The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.
o A cat’s purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.
o The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his “signature” on the keyboard.
o The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
o King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.
o Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.
o In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.
o Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.
o Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
o Calvin, of the “Calvin and Hobbes” comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.
o Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.
o Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.
o You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.
o To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.
o Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don’t play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.
o A dog’s naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.
o A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one’s nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.
o Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden’s headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.
o Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.
o At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.
o Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.
o If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.
o Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.
o Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
o Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost “an arm and a leg.”
o When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.
o Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.
o Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.
o If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
o When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.
o In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models’ turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.
o Although difficult, it’s possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.
o Napoleon’s favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.
o The world’s smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.
o Due to the natural “momentum” of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.
o In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
o It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.
o The “nine lives” attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.
o The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.
o The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.
Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman?s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.
He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers.
The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than ?going blind!?)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time?
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let?s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband?s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception:
Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ?in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.?
(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses
150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times it?s own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated? from drinking little bottles of ????
(Did the govt. pay for this research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez.)
An ostrich?s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don?t have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
And, the best for last?..
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(Do you think they have bad breath?)
From Rose DesRochers.
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”.
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh I see.”, replied the boy pensively.
“Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package.”
The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college men.”, the dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy
“Then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March…”