We all know a Ebenezer, death to the holiday cheer!

That best friend on the naughty list who doesn’t feel any joy in decorating the Christmas tree, making funny gifts to the close ones, listening to happy, magical songs. The one who prefers to stay deeply hidden under the covers, with a hinged door, locked away from happy frozen faces, strong hugs, fluffy snowflakes, weirdly shaped snowmen and great Christmas cookies from Mrs. Claus.

old commercial for shoes

Used to be on Ebay – 1959 NETTLETON Mens Shoes Loafers Christmas Gifts | Vintage Ad Print

You know it is hard to pleasantly surprise them but why not give it a chance by gifting those weirdos something with a little more edge. Maybe you will even make them smile.

# OOPS! I don’t care. Coffee Mug

An adorable, careless kitty defying shamelessly the falling ice crystals. For a Scrooge, that’s a quite sassy coffee mug for finally starting the day in a better mood. Or maybe NOT!! Kitty in the snow? Fluffy 100%? Bleah!

But at least we think it’s super-duper cute!!!

cute kitty mug

Cat lover or not, buy it from Amazon!! And brighten someone’s day.

# The (d)Evilish Doormat

Maybe not so welcoming, but surely supporting strong beliefs of the ones who hate holidays! It’s a source of profound satisfaction and a way to keep all human beings at a suitable distance. From the reviews looks ready for hassle: “it has been perpetually rained on, survived several hurricanes, been frozen, and generally abused in every way a doormat can be.”

Go Away Scrooge evil gift door carpet

Sarcastic mood on. Found on Amazon! Picture copyright ©  Kazeem Olushesi

# A Jar FULL of Nothing

“Christmas is expensive!”, says Scrooge. So no gifts! Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all… But what about a jar to keep that NOTHING?!? Nothing is much better than something and it’s still a little gift. “Nothing” might, sometimes, be a simple & precious Christmas gift.

This cute and extremely useful ceramic jar is sold by Enesco on Amazon for $16.

# RUDE Christmas Tree Baubles

Deck the halls with boughs of holly / ‘Tis the season to be… a little lugubrious?!?! Or highly not motivated by being on Santa’s naughty list. Bah Humbug gifts are never outdated. These Christmas tree ornaments are indeed a paradox. Unbelievably elegant, and still sending such a… powerful Christmas message. Package it nicely and give that hater one!

Swearing christmas tree ornaments

Get it from this pretty store on Etsy!

# Subtle Scrooge Holiday Card

Usually festive cards are the extra, “road-to-the-heart digger” part of a gift, but this card can go very well on its own. Even without any other cheesy message. Christmas Dingbats and a screw, a joke for insiders and the quick-witted.

Send it by post. Signed by Santa!

Found on Not on the High Street

# Full of Crap Sticky Notes

Oh, well… They do need a bunch of these all year through. Crap, crap, crap, all kinds of crap, so much misery! These to-do-list notepads will surely help our Scrooge keep everything in perfect order at work.

Scrooge sticky notes

Many of these sold on Amazon.

# Prank Gift Box – Money Printer

If your Scrooge are a little bit stingy, a money printer is probably the perfect economical solution to the end of their suffering. “This gadget doesn’t even need batteries! What a bargain.”, it is probably be their first thought.

Simply put your real gift inside and make them look a little silly!!

It’s on Amazon priced at only $7.99.

# Whiskey Stones

An Elegant gift for the lonely Scrooge. Chilling rocks from natural soapstone to keep a fine glass of whiskey at the right temperature – but probably never as cold as their heart can be. And this is better than a stocking full of candy!

For $8.00 on Amazon.

# A Christmas Carol Peg Dolls

One Ebenezer Scrooge (more than enough!), one Ghost of Christmas Past, one Ghost of Christmas Present, one Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come – all ultimately cute peg dolls inspired by the famous book. Said to be able to do THE magic and bring the festive season in any home. What do you think?

Handmade in US by TwoSidesoftheRainbow, And they are selling fast.

# Reindeer Poop

We are talking here about a genuine gift for Christmas non-believers: Fresh Reindeer Poop can and the actual “poop”: raisins covered in fine chocolate. If you’ve ever wondered where all reindeer poop goes, now you know the answer. It is magically packed for the Scrooge to make their life more sweat.

Find the pretty red Can-O-Gram & Picture copyright © Gifts of Gab for $5.99

Reindeer Poop is over so we have to settle with some Chocolate Deer Poop, No one will know the difference! – on Amazon for $5.95.

# Festive Toilet Paper

Meant to “wipe away the misery” of a crappy day. Just in time for holidays. If it’s a gift for a stingy one, it is perfect! It is honestly THE SMALLEST UNOPENED ROLL OF TOILET PAPER in the world. So you know what you will spend your money on…

Nice prank gift, but not good enough for own use. Find it on Amazon – Almost $5. Very pricey tag for the quantity!!!

# Bah Humbug Throw Pillow Cover

Even if it’s an expression meant to show disgust for the Christmas season, it still looks co nice on this pillow cover. At least, your favorite Scrooge will have a pretty decoration to look at and rest his head on while hiding away in the house. RED, RED, RED as Santa’s clothes!

Found on Amazon.

# F Bomb Paperweight

A modern office gift for the modern Scrooge. If swearing is his favorite sport maybe he will like also lifting weights. Paperweights. F bomb paperweights. One is enough, I think.

A little more than $44 on Amazon, but it’s worth the price!

# A Lump of Coal

Since many, many years coal is the pure symbol for naughtiness. Rooted in history as punishment, Santa comes down the chimney and if you’re on the naughty list, he takes a lump of coal from the fireplaces and leaves it under the tree. Bad Santa! Prank your rude friends and punish your enemies with an innocent piece of coal.

Picture copyright ©

If you want to give the gift of fanciness, I would suggest to buy this little piece of coal from here and put it in this funny box..

# A Grumpy Cat ABC Book

“A is for Awful”. We already knew that… But “C is for Cactus. I’d rather hug a cactus than continue“, said the Grumpy Cat. We warn you! This is not the regular book for children, that’s for sure. So don’t let any kids under 30 touch it! It appeals to the grouchy side of ANYONE on the naughty list.

Grumpy Cat just doesn’t like anything, but the way of rejecting cuteness is of an unmeasurable awesomeness. Kind of a cute Scrooge!

So much glossiness for less than $5 on Amazon.

I hope the selection of gifts for the one who hates everyone and despises everything is a source of inspiration for this Christmas and all future Christmases, as well as grumpy anniversaries or miserable birthdays. And you should admit it… Even Scrooge can be funny sometimes!

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