A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

In 2002, as a result of Richard Wiseman’s research this became the funniest joke in the whole world. At that time, the joke was submitted by Gurpal Gosall, of Manchester, England.

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  1. IT’S SO FUNNY! The operator was going to tell him to check a pulse or something but instead he shoots him. So even if he wasn’t dead to begin with, he’s dead now. PLEASE DON’T LET MY FRIENDS EVER BE THAT DUMB!! lol.

  2. This is the gayest joke in the history of man kind, i mean i’m famous and i have heard some retarded jokes before but, this is a whole new level. who ever came up with this joke is a homo. get a life homo!!!!!!

    johnny depp
  3. i’m pretty sure you’re not johnny depp dude, and i’m pretty sure johnny depp has a lot more class than to say “get a life homo”.

  4. ‘johnny depp’ isn’t really Jonny Depp, Big Gilley is ‘retarted,’ Earnie5000 doesn’t have the smarts to get it, and Gari speaks English as a second language.

    Awesome joke. Maybe not the funniest (to me, opinions are not fact), but definitely up there.

  5. did ya’ll know micheal jackson died??
    \ /

    \ /

    He ate a 12 year old weiner!!

    Now that’s a funny joke!

    Big mama
  6. omg !!!! omg !!!omg!!!! that is like the most REARDED “joke” i have eva heard!!! although io have to admit new jearsiens are pretty STUPID!! LMAO i luv da jok

  7. Kayla Says:
    April 14th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
    i’m pretty sure you’re not johnny depp dude, and i’m pretty sure johnny depp has a lot more class than to say “get a life homo”.

    haha that is funnier than the joke

  8. A pretty good joke but This one is way more funnier


    A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to
    her, and asks her: “Can we have sex?”

    “No,” she replies, “I’m married to God.”
    She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.

    The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:”I can tell you
    how to get to have sex with her!”

    “Yeah?”, says the hippie.

    “Yeah!”, say the bus driver. “She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night
    at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a
    hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in
    the cemetery claiming to be God.”

    The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as
    suggested on the next Tuesday night.

    “I am God,” he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face.
    “Have sex with me.”

    The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal
    sex, as she is desperate not to lose her Virginity.

    ‘God’ agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he
    jumps up and throws back his hood with a Flourish.

    “Ha-ha,” he cries. “I’m the hippie!”

    “Ha-ha,” cries the nun. “I’m the bus driver!

    sailor lad

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