Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
The reason I fired my secretary
2 weeks ago I turned 35.
When I got up in the morning I wasn’t feeling very well, but I was hoping that my wife will sing Happy Birthday to me and probably give me a present. She didn’t even say “hello” though. The kids took breakfast without even noticing me.
I got to work depressed. When [...]
The station
The station
A train station is the place where the train stops.
A bus station is the place where the bus stops.
A subway station is the place where the subway stops.
On my work desk I have a workstation.
Need I say more ?
Strange Coincidences
Strange coincidences:
Year 1981:
- Prince Charles gets married
- Liverpool wins the European Cup
- The Pope dies
Year 2005:
- Prince Charles gets married
- Liverpool wins the European Cup
- The Pope dies
Conclusion: If Prince Charles decides to marry again and Liverpool gets in the European Cup finals, someone better announce The Pope…
Be strong
Some guy escapes from prison.
He enters a house and finds this couple in bed.
He asks the guy to stand up and he ties him to a chair, then, while tying the woman to the bed, he approaches her, kisses her on the neck, then stands up and goes to the bathroom.
The man says to the [...]
Kindergarten test
Some kindergarten kids were asked:
To which direction is the bus heading?
Do you know the answer ?
There are only 2 possible answers : left and right.
Think. You still don’t know the answer?
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OK. I will tell you. The kindergarten kids have answered “left”.
When asked why, they said:
- Because you can’t see the doors.
Feeling kinda stupid right now, [...]
Yo Mama Jokes
As if there aren’t enough of them around…still funny though
Here we go:
- Yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
- Yo mama’s so stupid that she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
- Yo mama’s so stupid she tripped on a cordless phone.
- Yo mama’s so fat that when [...]
Blondes
A blonde driving a convertible passes near a corn field. She sees in the corn field another blonde in a boat, paddling. She quickly stops the car and furiously shouts:
- You idiot, blondes like you are the reason why people make fun of us. I’d come over there and teach you a lesson, but you’re [...]
Why do women have 2 hands ?
Why do women have 2 hands ?
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And men ?
If Women Ruled The World
If women ruled the world…
Google April Fools Jokes 2006
Google had some surprises for us this year on april fools day First, if you search for “area 51″ in Google Earth and go a little to the West, you’ll find that there ARE aliens there. Here’s the proof :
To see it for yourself, if you have Google Earth installed, download and run this [...]